Saturday, January 24, 2009

Huey, Dewey and Louie and a Box of Trix

Okay... I understand that boys must play and discover... I get that! I also get that with three small boys in the house, I am NEVER really going to have a super clean home for more than 5 minutes after the housekeeper leaves. Actually, they start to trash the upstairs as she's working on the downstairs... OY! So goes my life. However, I was unaware of exactly how much fun a box of Trix could be as a tool to trash the (mostly) clean house right after housekeeper leaves. So, because I am a fan of lists, here is a small sample of all the fun a box of Trix can bring when you are short, male, and really, really creative!

1. Let's start with the obvious.... Trix are just plain yummy. Except the yellow ones. For some reason the yellow ones are to be shunned while the orange ones are devoured. (what? this is a surprise to you?)

2. Once you've had your fill of eating all the orange ones and shunning the yellow... It's super fun to watch them cascade from the box and bounce all over a (formerly) super clean kitchen floor. If you can get away with pouring the ENTIRE box on the floor... that's even better!

3. Once the "pellets" have stopped bouncing all over the no-longer-clean kitchen floor, it is entertaining to drive Thomas and his friends through them, pretending that the pellets are giant boulders ready to derail an unsuspecting train.

4. After you've become bored with derailing trains, it's fun to flick the tiny little balls of yummy goodness like marbles.

5. During this creative play time... it's also good to eat them right from the floor. "What?... the floor is (er... was) clean, mom!" They just seem to taste better right off the floor anyway.

6. Eventually, after you've had your fill of Trix du floor, there is more fun than imaginable right there under your feet. It's AWESOME to stomp them and create an entire room of Trix dust! There really is nothing more entertaining when you're four. (um.. or two... or one!)

7. When you are finished pretending to be a GIANT Trix-stomping toddler, there is much amusement to be had if you just lay right there in the middle of the Trix dust facing your brother, and blow Trix dust into your brother's face. (This can provide HOURS of entertainment... or minutes anyway!)

8. Trix dust on a hard wood floor is eventually you will discover it's SUPER FUN to run and slide across a floor covered in Trix dust like an indoor slip-in-slide without the water. It's really fun if you spread the dust out as much as possible and see who can slide the furthest. Chances are one of you will be able to slide the entire length of the entry hall and slam yourself against the front door.

9. Trix dust is really yummy if you just lick it straight off the floor.

10. When mom has finally had enough and brings out the vacuum with instructions to "clean up every last spec of Trix dust" it's amazingly fun to feed any remaining pellets into the super suction Dyson one at a time, all the while pretending the Dyson is going to suck your entire arm up too. This NEVER gets old!

11. Since mom has introduced a new toy (called the Dyson)... it's really fun to wander the house with this awesome discovery... attempting to suck up everything... including your brother's face!

So the question remains.... "is it worth the money to have someone clean if this is the result only an hour later?". I've come to the conclusion that it really is. Because the point is this... "If you must lick Trix dust directly from the floor, at least it's a clean floor." This somehow gives me comfort. So really... the housekeeper is just my way of assuring their "safety". It's all for them. I'm such a good mom to hire a housekeeper for them!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Vomit-Fest 2009: Lessons Learned

Vomit-Fest 2009 began on Saturday, Jan 10 when Dewey spewed in his car seat as we were saying good-bye to Army Guy at the airport. It continued in full force the next day when we all woke up sick sick sick. We later learned that Army Guy was sick too as he was driving to Ft. Riley from Kansas City. Since this was my first time being "sick with children", I learned a few things I had never really thought of before. So, here it is, in no particular order, the lessons learned from Vomit-Fest 2009.

1. A vomit incident can be a welcomed diversion during a teary good-bye at the airport.

2. Fabreeze doesn't get ALL the barf smell out of a car seat.

3. You should make a diagram of how the car seat goes together before taking it apart to wash.

4. When your 2-year-old throws up in his bed, you should NEVER say, "go get into mommy's bed and we'll take care of this in the morning".

5. If you MUST say, "go get into mommy's bed" (because you are somehow brain dead, sleep deprived, or comatose from all the puking) it is wise to put a towel under your darling child.

6. When your precious baby boy vomits in your bed (because you are the dumb-ass that said "go get into mommy's bed" and didn't put a towel down) a king size bed is a whole lot harder to change at 3:30 am than a stupid toddler bed. See lesson #4 and avoid this rookie mistake.

7. An 18-month-old who is not sick, can find lots of fun things to do while the rest of the household is curled up in a ball on the sofa concentrating on not spewing.

8. It takes at least 4 days to discover all the ways your 18-month old found to entertain himself during vomit-fest.

9. When your sick toddler asks for chocolate milk, don't assume he must be feeling better.

10. If your toddler DOWNS a cup of chocolate milk, and immediately asks for more, don't assume it's OK because he's just "re hydrating" from all the barfing.

11. Chocolate milk vomit stains

12. If you smell vomit... there's vomit. It would be wise to turn on the light and discover the pool of puke your child is sleeping in, instead of assuming the smell is just "coming from the hamper".

13. When your child pukes in his toddler bed, chances are he spewed through the slats and got the wall too.

14. If there is dried barf running down the wall.. chances are there is a pool of dried barf on the carpet under the bed.

15. You should make every effort to keep all the drawers in your kitchen closed all the way. If a drawer is cracked even an inch... there is a slight possibility of a spewing accident in and throughout your entire Tupperwear drawer.

and finally....

16. After a long day of barfing and butt-squirts, if you feel a little better and decide to have a bite of your birthday cake... the next vomit will taste refreshingly sweet!

oh... ps... this blog entry is something I would add to the "gross" list. We can assume it would be entirely "not gross" to the boys.
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