Saturday, June 6, 2009

I Can't Believe I Actually Have to Say This!

I could be wrong... but is it really necessary to verbalize phrases like, "NO!... we do not go pee-pee in the sink."? You'd think that would just be understood. So, when I catch myself actually saying such ridiculously stupid things... I just shake my head and write it down. Below is a list of the more idiotic things I've been forced to say this week.

"No throwing trains over the bridge!"
(this would be the cat-walk over our living room!) So, that's pretty self explanatory right? Well... perhaps I should have been a little more specific. See... I understand that "trains" actually means "every toy you own, in addition to anything you can lift, including your brother". But the ducklings hear "trains" and they think... "so... then I can throw this entire box of Lincoln Logs over the bridge... and maybe all the train TRACKS... as long as no actual trains take a dive". Further... I believe they've actually had a debate over the meaning of the word "train". "Does it include freight cars and passengers cars or are we just talking engines here?"

"NO! You may not go pee-pee on your brother"
I was forced to say this one day when I found Dewey standing in the bathtub... enjoying a good wee on Louie's back, who was happily playing with his tug boat and oblivious to the fact that he was, indeed, being pee'd upon.

"Stop sitting on your brother's head!"Perhaps this is WHY I'm forced to say the stupid things I'm forced to say! Maybe we're getting somewhere here?

"You are not allowed to enter my bedroom for the REST OF YOUR LIVES!"This gem was very loudly spoken (okay.. I screamed it like a raving lunatic) upon the discovery of the ducklings rolling around the room in my comforter and through a pile of Strawberry Quick powder that had been dumped on the carpet in my bedroom. There was strawberry powder wafting in the air and all of the ducklings were covered in a delicious strawberry dust!

"McDonald's is closed today! I know... sad!"
Actually, this might be one of the more brilliant things I've ever said!

"OH ... Look at the clock. The big hand is all the way down. You know what that means..... Yep...BED TIME!"at 5:30pm.... hahahahahaha! Stinks when you can't tell time! (again... another of my more genius phrases!)

"Why? WHY? WWWHHYYYYY???? ... have you painted your entire body with my lipstick?"I've actually lost a total of 6 lipsticks to this sort of artistic expression!

"Mommy is not a jungle gym... and GET OFF ME with that stinky diaper!" can't wait for Army Guy to come home and wrestle with these boys!

"Is there something seriously wrong with you?" This brilliant line of questioning came after a week which included the following:

* 3 strawberry Quick powder "incidents" (yes THREE... on three different days)

* fun with snow angels on a hardwood floor. Except the "snow" in this case was pancake mix.

* a package of Oreo cookie "wafers" discovered with all the cream licked out

* an entire bottle of baby bath soap poured into the sink.... and smeared all over someone's head

* a lovely offering of pine needles thrown onto the kitchen floor as a gift

* lipstick body art (the 6th edition)

* poop art in the bathroom

* the ever favorite cereal dump on the kitchen floor

* a fun game of "lets empty ALL the water from the bathtub onto the bathroom floor"

* a 911 incident because "baby" was missing (found 5 minutes later in the mini-van, having a blast pushing the automatic door button which causes the rear gate to lift and smash into the garage door. ) FUN!

* and an entire gallon of freshly made sun-tea poured onto the kitchen floor because.... HECK, I DON'T KNOW WHY.... That's why I want to have their brains checked out! (yes... ALL of that happened THIS week... and I'm sure there is something I am forgetting!)

Below are a few photos submitted as evidence.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Things That Make You Giggle!

Yesterday was a really busy day. We had lots of errands and we were in the van for a very long time. At some point I verbalized a thought. I didn't realize I had said it out loud until I was well into the following conversation.

ME: "Oh, Mommy has to go pee-pee pretty bad!"
ME: "ooohhh... I gotta go....!"
HUEY: "Hold it really, really tight mommy... you can do it!"
ME: "Ok.. I'm trying my best"
DEWEY: "Don't pee-pee pants mommy!"
ME: "OK!"
HUEY: "We should pull over so you can squirt a tree!!!"
ME: "AHAHAHAHAHAHA... (pee a little)... hahahahah......"

Boys are the BEST! And... I'm a little jealous that I'm the only one in the family unable to squirt a tree!
Copywrite 2018 - Loretta Monroe