Thursday, March 17, 2011

3-Year-Old Artwork Does NOT Rock!

I mean no disrespect to my little Louie, who is very artistic indeed. And I love his art when he works with the normal preschool supplies .... you know... crayons, construction paper, water colors, etc. The kind of artwork I'm talking about here is when he uses more "unconventional materials"..... such as lipstick and carpet. This is EVIL artwork and this is the type that does NOT rock! Case in point...

What happens when your 3-year-old watches you paint your kitchen a lovely buttery yellow? His thought process goes something like this: "I wike yellow...and I really wike that roll-y thing. Me wonder if roll-y thing will work on EVERYTHING.... Hmmm... me try that at once!"

I give you Exhibit "A"

Here we have the artist proudly showing his work. When I saw this I thought.... "garage door, painted... no harm there. Yellow spots on garage walls and floor... I can handle that. Yellow foot prints tracked through the house... totally cleanable". I had a small chuckle and began to clean the paint from the artist's hands. And then.... I saw the REST of his work.

Behold... Exhibit "B".

Yeah... that's the minivan. The artist decided to explore new materials for his work. A white canvass (or gray garage floor) is soooooooo "yesterday". He decided painting the front end of the minivan would be a bit more.... edgy! Perhaps even on THE cutting edge of modern art. I must remember to ask Uncle Danny this very important question: "Art or Not Art?"
Thank goodness for Magic Eraser! I do believe their new tagline should be "Removes interior semi-gloss from the exterior of minivans". Magic Eraser has saved my butt on several occasions, however this is an entirely new level of "WOW"! Kudos to you Magic Eraser.... KUDOS TO YOU!!!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Kindergarten Artwork Rocks!

This is the picture Huey (6) just drew on my white board. Well... first he erased my "do to" list for the day... then he drew this picture for me. So, not only do I have a lovely expression of my son's devotion... I, apparently, have NOTHING to do today. Win/win!

Anyway... I asked Huey to tell me about his picture and this is what he said.

"You are the tall one, and I am standing on a little hill. I have THREE loves for you. I drew you first because you are so special".

Heart... melting... quick somebody get me a tissue!

This is the sort of thing that makes all those aggravating events totally worth it. This "motherhood thing" is one wild ride... and I love it! I am so blessed! (Even if I AM a freakishly tall smiley face sitting on some really long legs. I may not be blessed with a NECK... but I am blessed none-the-less!)

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The 90 Dollar Donut

Dewey (4) sitting; Huey (6) center
Louie (3) right

How does a donut cost $90.00? Well... it doesn't. However, the events that led up to the FREE donut were very costly indeed.

It began like any other day. There was the typical struggle to get the boys out of bed... teeth brushed... breakfast eaten... dressed and ready.... yadda, yadda, yadda... mad dash for the minivan. I always cross my fingers and hope to get Dewey to preschool on time. Yesterday was no different. Except this time Louie and I never really did get dressed. We were running late and I just thought "I could totally get away with wearing my jammies to drop Dewey at preschool. I mean... it's a drive-up and drop-off... what could possibly go wrong?" In fact, I was so sure the drop-off would be quick, I even let Louie get into the car with no shoes. By the way, Louie's jammies were shorts and it was a sunny, 35 degree morning.

Let me just pause for a second to allow for the gigantic cyber-sigh happening about now.

So, "What could possibly go wrong?" I dared to ask myself.

Here goes:
We got to the preschool in the nick of time. And I mean, right at 9:00 on the nose. Any later and I would have had to get out of the car and personally take him into the school. "So far so good", I thought. But just as we approached the drop zone I suddenly realized this one minor detail I had forgotten.

"OH NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" I gasped, as I recalled that it was "Muffins for Moms" day. Dewey's class had been working hard for weeks preparing for this very special party to honor all the moms. They even sent out hand-made invitations. Huey's class did this last year, so I knew it was a big, giant, flippin deal! "AAAUUUGGGHHHHH it starts in FIFTEEN MINUTES!!!" (and we live exactly 16 minutes away!)

At that point I saw the insurmountable situation and I was completely defeated. I explained to Dewey that "Mommy is soooo sorry but I won't be able to come to the party today." Dewey was crushed. Though he handled his disappointment well, I could tell he was heartbroken. As he got out of the van...... I died just a little. I was breaking my son's heart and accepting defeat without even giving it a good try.

"SIGH... okay... I am a mom... I can make this happen... I really can", I thought. "I got this!" It was an impossible situation, but I jumped into tap-dancing-mommy-mode and got moving. So here's how it went down.

We drove really quick to WalMart just around the corner. Louie and I, still in our jammies, ran for the door. "We have THIRTEEN minutes", I yelled to Louie. I was a crazy woman running through the store in search of something... ANYTHING... for Louie and I to wear for this all important mommy party. I was too focused on the mission to realize I was actually one of those "WalMart Shoppers" who was most likely being photographed for the next volume of the seriously revolting (and slightly entertaining) email photo album that will inevitably be circulated throughout the entire globe! (look for me next time you see that email).

I'll spare you the humiliating details of my early-morning jammie-shop and just cut to the end. (Though I would love to see the security video of the loony woman with the half naked 3-yr-old in her cart, frantically running through the store in all her jammie glory). We got an outfit, shoes AND socks for Louie and something for me to wear as well. Wait... I got two extremely classy WalMart outfits just in case the first one did not fit. Louie and I were out the door and changing clothes in the minivan in under 15 minutes. All the while I yelled "hurry Baby... quickly.. We are late for Dewey's party".

So we got back to the school at 9:25 am. I ran my fingers through my hair and put on some lipstick and we made our way into the school. Louie and I arrived at the mommy event only 10 minutes late and I was extremely proud!!!

As we entered the party room I quickly scanned the "crowd" in search of my son. I could hardly wait to see the look on his face when he realized his mother had come after all. I made a mental note to begin writing my "Mother of the Year" acceptance speech!

"Wait..." I thought, "where is everybody?!?!?" The room was empty!!!
Yeh... the party didn't start until 10:15
we were 50 minutes early!

I did finally get one bite of seriously expensive donut before Louie procured that little treat for himself. But on the bright side, I AM the owner of two very lovely, designer sweat-suits from WalMart. Wait.... I can totally return one! So then, this doughnut really only cost me $60.00.

In case you were wondering.... My crazy is in hyper-drive today! :o)
Copywrite 2018 - Loretta Monroe