Thursday, April 2, 2020

Red Door Frames for Passover

The world has gone mad. We are living in some pretty scary times, and it's about to get a whole lot worse.  Right now there is a plague of locusts in both the Middle East and Africa and we've had reports of rivers turning to blood. Listen, I know the internet is filled with fake news and video is easy to edit with the proper equipment; but head over to YouTube and search for "locusts in the middle east" and you will find lots and lots of videos. It's astonishing. Even CNN has reported on this issue. 

So, what exactly is going on? Locusts, "blood" rivers, a world-wide virus and earthquakes? To top it all off, we are in a situation where the world financial system could crash, making it super easy for a financial "reset", then putting the  world on a new monetary system. ONE system for the entire world. Next up is a one-world government and the mark of the beast. Am I a conspiracy theorist or are we witnessing the beginning of the end? Call me crazy, but I think we are about to see something epic. I truly believe we're in Revelation territory here. 

Since we've been stuck in our homes for going on three weeks, I've had all the time in the world to ponder this situation. This brought me to the book of Exodus and the story of Moses, who led the God’s people from captivity in Egypt. I began thinking about the plagues that God brought upon Egypt in order to convince Pharaoh to free His people.  You can read about the ten plagues beginning in Exodus chapter 7

Here's a breakdown of those plagues:

  1. Rivers turned to blood
  2. Frogs
  3. Gnats
  4. Flies
  5. Death of all (Egyptian) Livestock
  6. Boils
  7. Hail
  8. Locusts
  9. Total Darkness 
  10. Death of all firstborn
Finally, after a night of death for the firstborn in Egypt, Pharaoh let God's people go.  But why didn't the plague of death include the firstborn of the Hebrew nation? Because God made a way for them. He instructed His people to slaughter lambs and paint the outside of their door frames with the blood. Then they were told to hide away inside their homes until morning. Blood on the door frame was a signal to the angel of death to pass over that household. 

21 Then Moses summoned all the elders of Israel and said to them, “Go at once and select the animals for your families and slaughter the Passover lamb. 22 Take a bunch of hyssop, dip it into the blood in the basin and put some of the blood on the top and on both sides of the door frame. None of you shall go out of the door of your house until morning. 23 When the Lord goes through the land to strike down the Egyptians, he will see the blood on the top and sides of the door frame and will pass over that doorway, and he will not permit the destroyer to enter your houses and strike you down.                                                                                                                                        Exodus 12:21-23

That night the Children of Israel were spared from death by the blood on their door frames, just as God had promised. 

With all that is going on right now, I thought maybe it would be a good idea for Christians everywhere to signal to the world that we trust in God. We can do this by symbolizing the blood of the lamb on our door frames.  This thought came to me two nights ago, and then yesterday two friends on Facebook posted the same idea. I truly believe God is asking Christians to step up and show our faith.

I believe it is no coincidence that, here in the United States, we are expecting peak death from the COVID-19 virus exactly during the week of Passover.  God uses symbols to communicate His messages so, as Christians, let's use a symbol to communicate our faith in God. Place red over your door frame for Passover this year (April 8-16). You can use ribbon, fabric, paper, streamers, balloons, or anything you have on hand. Cover your door frame in red as a symbol of the blood of Jesus and your trust in God. 

Of course there is no power in red ribbon, but there is power in the blood of Jesus. How wonderful would it be for Christians around the world to observe Passover along with Easter this year? Some may decide to take this a step further and celebrate Passover the traditional Jewish way with unleavened bread, roasted lamb, and bitter herbs. Whatever you decide to do in your home is fine, but let's all cover our doors with red to symbolize our faith in God and our trust in the blood of Jesus.

After adding some red to your door frame, take a photo and share it with us in this Facebook Group. You are also welcome to post prayers, scripture and anything inspirational or encouraging. Then share this blog post and the Facebook group with your friends. Let's see red door frames around the world, signifying that Christians are standing together and trusting in the blood of Jesus Christ.

Let's also continue to pray for each other and for the world. It's going to get rough, but we can get through this together if we keep our focus solidly on Jesus.






Friday, February 21, 2020

Grandma's Apple Cake

If there is one thing that brings back memories of my childhood, specifically at Thanksgiving or Christmas, it would be Grandma's Apple Cake. Grandma always had her irresistibly delicious apple cake on the dessert table next to the pumpkin and boysenberry pies. Though boysenberry is my all-time favorite pie, and Grandma made it perfectly, I simply could not resist that apple cake. (Who am I kidding...? I had both. With a scoop of vanilla ice cream too). 

This cake is like no other apple cake recipe I have tried. It is loaded with chunky bits off apple and walnuts and then drizzled with a yummy cream cheese icing. Grandma also added raisins. I ate them when I was ten; but now that I can make the cake myself, there will be no raisins. It's your call if you want to raisin it up. Either way, this cake will not disappoint. 



Ingredients

4 cups apples 
2 eggs
2 cups sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1 tsp cinnamon
1 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
1 cup raisins (optional)
1/2 cup oil
2 cups flour
2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt

Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
Peel and chop apples. Break eggs over apples and stir. Add sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, walnuts, raisins, and oil. Mix. In a separate bowl, stir together flour, baking soda, and salt. Add to apple mixture and blend well. The batter will be very thick and lumpy. Place batter in a greased and floured Bundt cake pan. Bake at 375 for one hour. 

Allow to cool for 30 minutes and then remove from pan. Drizzle with cream cheese icing and finely chopped walnuts.
Serves 12.

________________________________________________________
Per serving: 315 Calories; 12.1g fat; 4.6g protein; 49.5g carbohydrates.


Cream Cheese Icing

1/2 brick cream cheese
3-4 tbs milk
1 tsp vanilla
1 tbs powdered sugar

Mix all ingredients until thin enough to drizzle over cake. If too thick, continue to add milk, one teaspoon at a time, until you get the desired consistency.




This is Grandma and Grandpa B, with my mom.  All live in heaven now. I miss them terribly. I don't know where Grandma got this recipe but I know it's been in our family for decades. Actually, I think it came from Great Grandma who would have been making this cake in the 1930's. She probably got it from a church ladies' recipe book. Good guess anyway. 




Wednesday, February 19, 2020

Negotiation Training 101

It was not my intent to write two similar stores about the same child back-to-back... but this child continually provides material that just begs me to blog. So, here we go. I give you Daniel and his "attorney speak" - the sequel.

It was a cold, rainy day and I was feeling somewhat lazy. Since procrastination is my super-power, I had allowed the dishes to pile up and had no interest in removing my bottom from the sofa in order to remedy the situation. Then I had this brilliant idea!!!  I could get one of the boys to do the dishes. Certainly they can be bribed, I thought. So I prepared a text for all the boys which offered "things of monetary value" in exchange for doing the dishes. And then I waited.

Moments later I received a reply from Daniel. (Of course it was Daniel. The other two just ignore such texts.) His response did not disappoint.



Ok... so one child has taken the bait, I thought.  I'm certain we can come to an agreement which allows me to continue binge watching "The Good Place", while my dishes disappear. And so negotiations began.  With an ear-to-ear grin, I replied, "both". Seconds later I received another text.




The current stock market?!?!  Who is this child? 
I didn't want to open negotiations by giving him an idea of what I was willing to pay, so I replied in such a way as to draw out his price without giving away my position.







LAWYER?!?  
Clearly he didn't want to give his price away either. Excellent, my son. Hold your cards close and wait for the offer.  






There we go! He has named his price. 

Here's your valid point right here, kid!






Listen, I know $10.00 for doing the dishes is pretty steep, however, you must understand the following:

         1) I found this entire negotiation highly amusing and 
         2) On this particular day I really was THAT lazy.

The negotiations continued:




BRITISH POUNDS???








LABOR FEE???  

So we came to an agreement. $11 USD and a mint, with the labor fee waived in this specially priced package. Clearly I was TAKEN, but again, the entertainment value alone was worth the cash. Getting the dishes done was just a bonus.

And so... my lazy butt sat on the sofa while my ultra-brilliant son did the dishes. I savored the knowledge that it is unlikely anyone will ever be able to take advantage of my son. Smart little booger that he is.

And for my critics who think a child should never be paid to do "household chores": Y'all need to lighten up. Sometimes it's okay to be silly with the kids. He learned the very useful skill of negotiation, and I got my dishes done. PLUS:  when all is said and done... I'm not sure I actually paid him. And listen, if he doesn't remember, I don't see why I need to. 







Wednesday, February 12, 2020

I Live With a Thirteen-Year-Old Attorney


My life is a circus. Full Stop!  That is all. 

Some day's I'm not even sure who wears the ring-master hat in this household; though I'm pretty sure the monkeys are in charge quite often. But it's okay because my monkeys are smart little boogers and they entertain me greatly. Case in point:

Every two weeks I spend Sunday and Monday in frantic preparation for the housekeeper's visit on Tuesday. I make every attempt to pick up all the stuff, which includes finishing all laundry. Sometimes I fail in this area and the laundry room floor cannot be mopped for months. The laundry.... OY... it never ends! EVER!

After such an effort to clear out the laundry room, it ticks me off beyond belief when someone decides to bring down their laundry on Monday night. This compelled me to send Army Guy a text like this:





Just two hours before the arrival of awesome housekeeper. I was LIVID!

So this week I decided to be proactive and send out an announcement to the entire family on Sunday night.





Enter Daniel, my genius (smart-@$$) 13-year-old child who, I swear, was born to be an attorney.


This prompted a lively conversation between Daniel, his dad and I. This child is too intelligent for his own good.  Anyway... there was a discussion on dictatorships, sedition, treason and the idea of a revolution with the ultimate goal of a coup to overthrow the government.  To which I replied:



And then Army Guy Posted:




This conversation concluded with the entire idea of a revolution dying a slow, silent death to the soundtrack of crickets chirping in B minor. 

And that’s how you stop a revolution!

Mommy for the win!

Note to self: it really IS time to teach these boogers how to do their own laundry. (Muahahaha)



Tuesday, October 8, 2019

What a Mom Wants

Photo by Norbert Buduczki on Unsplash
Guys, listen up. What I'm about to tell you is GOLD. This is the key to happiness for your wife. Are you ready? The all-time best gift for your wife is this:

HAVE HER CAR DETAILED!

It’s just that simple! All she wants is a clean car. She doesn't even know this is what she wants... but she does! And if you can anticipate this desire and meet her need before she knows she needs it, Buddy, you will unlock that place inside where all the gooey, mushy, feelings of great joy reside. You will be her hero; her number one guy! And you will reap the rewards as well.

See, before she was a mom, she enjoyed a sweet ride without nasty car seats covered in last month's spilled milk that now smell like the bottom of the trash cans... the ones on the OUTSIDE of the house. She didn't have old French fries under the seats, chicken nuggets in the cup-holders, or smears on the widows where someone just really needed to know what glass tastes like. She probably didn't have dog hair wafting throughout the air, landing on every imaginable surface and settling into a 2-inch layer of grossness on the carpet. She certainly didn’t have to play “guess that smell” every time she got into the car. 

Until the children came, she wasn’t used to driving a stinking cesspool of germs and grime that would put a Wal-Mart bathroom to shame. Her car used to be a sanctuary of cleanliness that still had that "new car smell" 28 months after you bought it. She used to have pride in her car and was able to offer anyone a lift, without notice, and without having to issue a disclaimer, "Please ignore the car. I have kids".

She just wants a clean car!!!  And you are the guy to make it happen. Take her car for an afternoon without saying a word, and watch how she responds when you return with a like-new mom-ride. You will be THE MAN! If you can swing a monthly detail service...Buddy you are GOLDEN! If not, please consider this gift for Mother's Day, her birthday, Christmas and your anniversary. Pretty much any occasion where you need a gift and are out of ideas... HERE'S YOUR HINT! 

This is what your wife wants. Forget the diamonds, flowers, stuffed teddy bears and pajama-grams. Seriously, DO NOT even consider a Pajama-gram! That's all crap (okay, maybe not the diamonds). But I promise you, if given the choice between a clean car and diamonds, five bucks says she takes the clean car. For the love of all that is pleasant and sanitary and lemony fresh...she just wants an uncontaminated ride. Or a hazmat suit...it's your call.

YOU ARE WELCOME!




Copywrite 2018 - Loretta Monroe