What a Mom Wants

Photo by Norbert Buduczki on Unsplash

Guys, listen up. What I'm about to tell you is GOLD. This is the key to happiness for your wife. Are you ready? The all-time best gift for your wife is this:

HAVE HER CAR DETAILED!

It’s just that simple! All she wants is a clean car. She doesn't even know this is what she wants... but she does! And if you can anticipate this desire and meet her need before she knows she needs it, Buddy, you will unlock that place inside where all the gooey, mushy, feelings of great joy reside. You will be her hero; her number one guy! And you will reap the rewards as well.

See, before she was a mom, she enjoyed a sweet ride without nasty car seats covered in last month's spilled milk that now smell like the bottom of the trash cans... the ones on the OUTSIDE of the house. She didn't have old French fries under the seats, chicken nuggets in the cup-holders, or smears on the widows where someone just really needed to know what glass tastes like. She probably didn't have dog hair wafting throughout the air, landing on every imaginable surface and settling into a 2-inch layer of grossness on the carpet. She certainly didn’t have to play “guess that smell” every time she got into the car. 

Until the children came, she wasn’t used to driving a stinking cesspool of germs and grime that would put a Wal-Mart bathroom to shame. Her car used to be a sanctuary of cleanliness that still had that "new car smell" 28 months after you bought it. She used to have pride in her car and was able to offer anyone a lift, without notice, and without having to issue a disclaimer, "Please ignore the car. I have kids".

She just wants a clean car!!!  And you are the guy to make it happen. Take her car for an afternoon without saying a word, and watch how she responds when you return with a like-new mom-ride. You will be THE MAN! If you can swing a monthly detail service...Buddy you are GOLDEN! If not, please consider this gift for Mother's Day, her birthday, Christmas and your anniversary. Pretty much any occasion where you need a gift and are out of ideas... HERE'S YOUR HINT! 

This is what your wife wants. Forget the diamonds, flowers, stuffed teddy bears and pajama-grams. Seriously, DO NOT even consider a Pajama-gram! That's all crap (okay, maybe not the diamonds). But I promise you, if given the choice between a clean car and diamonds, five bucks says she takes the clean car. For the love of all that is pleasant and sanitary and lemony fresh...she just wants an uncontaminated ride. Or a hazmat suit...it's your call.

YOU ARE WELCOME!

Basic Alfredo Sauce and Accidental Brilliance

Penne Alfredo with Chicken and Mushrooms

Alfredo Pasta is my go-to quick dinner. It's super easy, gives my family the ultra yummies and is ready in the amount of time it takes to boil up some pasta. WIN! 

Below is the recipe I use. I've tried several recipes, including one from a "traditional Italian cookbook" that begins with a classic béchamel and includes nutmeg. (I may be off base here, but I'm going with - "Nutmeg in Alfredo sauce is just weird") That recipe was good, but this one is GREAT (and also easier).  Guess which one I prefer?

Classic Alfredo

1 stick of butter
1 cup heavy cream
1 cup grated, fresh Parmesan cheese

salt and pepper to taste (1/2 teaspoon - ish)

pinch of garlic powder
1 pound rotini pasta

(Note: sometimes I double the sauce for a creamier/saucier pasta. Because, let's face it, what my life really needs is more butter....MORE BUTTER!)

Directions

Cook pasta according to package directions.

In a medium sauce pan, melt butter in the cream over medium heat. Stir in fresh Parmesan and simmer for a few minutes, stirring occasionally with a whisk until the cheese is completely melted. Season with salt, pepper and garlic. Pour sauce over pasta, and viola...yummy dinner is served.

Add ins: At this point I usually add in steamed broccoli florets and cooked chicken breast (cubed) or shrimp that I have sautéed in butter and seasoned with a little garlic, salt and pepper. 

Serves 8
Approximately 415 calories per serving (for pasta and plain Alfredo sauce)

Brilliance
Here's where the accidental brilliance comes in. A few weeks ago I made sausage and spinach manicotti, which was ah-maze-ing!  That recipe left me with about 2 cups of extra stuffing; a mixture of ricotta cheese, sausage and spinach. I didn't want to throw that away so I shoved it into the freezer to create another something on another day. Well, "another day" was last night. I decided to stir that ricotta and sausage mixture into the Alfredo sauce. Sweet Mother of Moses!!!  I created something genius! 

Here's how to create Alfredo a la Lori:

Start with the Classic Alfredo Sauce above (this is one time you DO NOT want to double the sauce recipe).

Add  the following:

• 1 cup of steamed, fresh spinach. Squeeze to drain excess water. (It will take 4 or 5 cups of raw spinach to get a cup of cooked spinach. Or... just use 1/2 a brick of chopped, frozen spinach - defrosted and drained.) 
• 1/2 pound of browned sausage
• 1 cup ricotta cheese
• 2 cups steamed broccoli florets

Pour heavenly Alfredo mixture over pasta of choice (I use Rotini)

This recipe is super rich and creamy. It will also go straight to your backside so I recommend doing ten minutes of squats while the pasta cooks. This disclaimer is required because I cannot be held responsible for enlarged butts. mmmmkay?

Serves 8
Approximately 615 calories per serving

Mama Aint Play'n

So.... remember when The Ducklings got a new toy room?  Those of you who are new to the blog can read about the toy room transformation here and here. Don't miss the part about how I nearly launched myself across the room while trying to remove an anchor from the drywall. And be sure to check out my awesome skills with the drill.  Good stuff! 

Anyway... It was a great toy room.  Over time it morphed from the place where Thomas lived with all of his friends (and tracks and bridges and roundhouses and such...) to the place where the Ducklings went to war over the Wii... daily.  It went from a decor of tiny kid chairs and a pretend kitchen, to grown up leather sofas and a flat screen TV.  (Ducklings are seriously spoiled).  But no matter the decor, there was always one thing that remained constant about the toy room.  It was a pig sty y'all.  (I've been in the south for nearly 5 years... I say "y'all" now.. FYI!)  So, where was I?  Oh yeah... Ducklings are pigs!  Seriously.  I'm not sure how pudding cups find their way under the sofa when CLEARLY food is not allowed in the toy room....  But that's neither here nor there!  What's really important is that MAMA AIN'T PLAY'N! 

Ta-da!!!!
Introducing.... My New Office! 

Notice the big-a$$ computer monitor?  Yeah I took their TV too. (bwa ha ha)   There comes a point when Mama has stepped on her last Lego... or gooey puddle of yogurt... or yogurt-covered Lego.... and something just SNAPS!  Mama decides either the toy room has to go or the children have to go but we simply cannot have both.  I am proud to report we still have all three children...  pretty sure it was the right decision too.

My new office totally ROCKS!  And, even though I am allowed to eat in the office whenever I want to...  Not once have I EVER found a pudding cup under the sofa.  True story! 

Now I get to work on grown-up decor! Yay!  Fun!!!  Any suggestions?
 

Today I'm Genius... Be Warned!

SOMEBODY got into the Oreo cookies and left evidence all over the place. Of course it was "Notme" that did it. That kid is to blame for everything around here. I find it interesting that "Notme" has so much involvement in our family when I don't recall his birth at all. Anyhooo... All three boys stood in front of me and insisted that "Notme" was the culprit. So I had this genius idea. I made them all show me their teeth. I inspected all of their teeth, looking for that tell-tale Oreo crud that gets stuck in the molars. "Doah", I thought, "nobody has cookie in their teeth". But before I let my face break and accepted defeat, I came up with another genius idea. I said to them "Okay.. I know exactly which one of you did it. If you continue to lie it will be much worse for you. This is your last chance." Turns out "Notme" has been vindicated. One of the Ducklings immediately confessed. LOL

Yep... it was a flash of brilliance I tell ya! :o)