Monday, April 27, 2009

Me Mateys Be Glad!

I woke up today with this thought... "I must find something for these children to do before I lose my mind". So off we went to Sam's Club. (well... first Walmart, then Target, then Sam's Club!) We had a fun lunch date at Sam's (hot dogs of course) and did a little shopping.

And then we saw it... the mother of all inflatable pools! A super-awesome-triple-waterslide-pool-thingy"! We stood there in awe... all 4 of us! The boys said "COOL" and I thought, "that would totally buy me hours! Oh.. and it's a slide so there is no deep water to worry about." Yeah.. it was "COOL" all the way around! And... it was also $455.00!!! OUCH! I was totally going to pay that! Yes, I'm that desperate to get them outta my kitchen so they'll stop dumping cereal and raisins and crackers and goldfish and chips and popcorn and marshmallows and chocolate chips and yogurt and and and..... all over the floor! But then... Huey saw the $55.00 pirate ship inflatable pool with a water cannon... and decided it was a MUST HAVE! Woo Hooo!... I just saved $400.00! NICE!

So we got home, set up the pirate ship, and the ducklings had a blast the rest of the after noon. They played and hosed each other down and we had a great time. We talked like pirates for hours. Me mateys be glad, indeed! Arrrggggh! (um... a little head's up... don't be offended if Huey calls you a "scurvy dog" next time you talk to him! He means it with love.)

At 6:30pm I finally had to drag them into the house for dinner. After instructions to "take off your wet swim trunks and put on some dry pants", we sat down to dinner. At some point during dinner, I realized Huey and Dewey were butt-naked. NICE! Of course after they finished dinner they were right back outside. This time they be naked pirates... Aarrggg! (sorry... it never gets old) :o)

Anyway... I took a few photos of the best afternoon we've had in a long time. Enjoy!

Captain Dewey at the Helm

Louie was a reluctant pirate.
He's still not quite sure about the idea of playing in really cold water.
Huey mans the cannon!
Nobody was safe... not even his mother.
Cold, heartless pirate he be!
It has a little slide too!
" Yo ho! Yo ho! A piwate's wife for me!"

Monday, April 20, 2009

A Day in the Life of Huey, Dewey, and Louie

.... a photo essay of the Ducklings doing what they do best. Enjoy!

Nothing better than eating raisins off the floor. Oh... and it's also really cool to shove them into toys and various nooks and crannies that won't be discovered for weeks! Ya... that's awesome! Never know when you're gonna need a little snacky....

Here we have mommy's cheap Wal-Mart planner and some very important papers that have been torn up. Oh... and a squirt gun and video tape were also found at the scene of the crime. Could be the birth of CSI SC? I'm just say'n.

Where's Louie? Seriously.... it took me 10 minutes to find him the first time he did this.

Coffee Anyone?

Chocolate chips never tasted so good!

Duckings were seen attempting to cover up an incident involving an entire box of goldfish and gravity. Gotta give 'em an "A" for effort!
Ya... this is AFTER their very thorough clean-up. The bright side is... I'm certain none of my boys have a future as a janitor!

Finger painting with ranch dressing is SUPER fun!

The artist... covered in Ranch Dressing, Resolve Carpet Cleaner as a mousse, and a little pee pee...

Yes... that case of Sierra Mist is really useful as a step stool. "What mom? You thought putting Premium Saltines on the top shelf would be a deterrent? Have you MET us?"

And while I was cleaning up the crackers....... Pancakes are so much better without the egg... oh, and the milk... um, and the oil... and also the griddle. Pancake dust is what he prefers!

And while pancake baby was being cleaned up.... I'm not certain what happened here... but it looks like the bear suffered a horrible "death-by-goldfish". Bring on the CSI guys... we can crack this case.

Look mom... I'm not making a mess!

Though these pictures were not taken on the same day... they COULD HAVE been. Trust me! Every day is pretty much like this! Except...add in a few poop incidents and a wet naked baby playing slip-n-slide in the entry hall. Ya... that's a typical day in our home.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

My Trash is Another Man's..... TRASH! (apparently)

I hate garage sales... HATE THEM! Hate the work it takes to put them on... hate that it's always hot and you're stuck outside trying to keep bargain hunters from talking you down from 25 cents to 10 cents. (like it matters... or you even CARE!) Hate that everything you carefully select from "the black hole" (your garage), kiddos suddenly really, really want as soon as they see it on the table priced for 50 cents! So why WHY? WHY?

Well.. for starters I thought the traffic would be awesome since
everyone comes to the Community Yard Sale! It's the happening event of the season. (What? You didn't know that?) Ya... well neither did anyone else! Actually I heard there were crowds of people in the neighborhoods closer to the entrance of the master community. But for my neighborhood... in the back of the bus... not so good. I also thought that I had some really, really good stuff to sell! Good quality! Anybody would want this stuff. (well... anyone except ... ME!) But whatever!

So I worked my butt off getting this thing set up. Tiffany came out to help. And when I say "help", I mean... cook breakfast and lunch for my kids and mostly be stuck inside the house with 11 children.... GOOD TIMES! I think Tiffany got robbed! (Sorry Tiff... I love you!).

So at the end of the day... I had $138.00 in my pocket and LOTS and LOTS of crap that had been hauled out of my garage and was NOT going to be put back in. My dear friend, Deb, gave me a brilliant idea. She says she's just gonna put the crap out on her driveway with a sign that says "FREE!" That's awesome! I'd give someone my $138.00 to take this stuff away. Instead my car is loaded with stuff to haul to Good Will. My car, however, now has a dead battery for the 4th time in 6 weeks! OH... I should get a new battery, you say? Ya.. did that 4 weeks ago and it cost me $143.00. Now it's dead for the 2nd time SINCE getting the new battery. So minivan and it's cargo of precious crap are headed back to dealership tomorrow. This time it's the starter.... wait... wasn't I talking about "pointless garage sale"? How did I switch to "stupid, demon mini-van"? Oh yeah... deployment brain! I keep forgetting... mmmm I want PIE!......

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

"I Want Syrup on My Captain Crunch..."

... and other weird combinations the Ducklings request.

So, this is kind of an update to the gross/not gross list. Only... this is all just plain GROSS! Below are actual requests from Huey, Dewey and Louie in the food department.
Bon Appetit!

Carrot Sticks dipped in Ketchup
this from Huey who almost daily informs me "I am not a Ketchup Guy, Mom". So... Huey refuses Ketchup on fries, hot dogs, burgers... you know the normal stuff. But carrot sticks?... wow that's delicious!

Strawberries dipped in ranch dressing
This very posh appetizer comes from Dewey. The other day, when trying to get out of eating his entire lunch (except for the chips) Dewey informed me "I am not a peanut butter guy", "I am not a strawberry jam guy", "I am not a sandwich guy", and the very popular, "I am not a grape guy". (I see the "I am not a _____ guy" reason to get out of eating is all the rage in preschool world.) The best part is... Dewey says this in his limited 2-year-old vocabulary and seriously mispronounces words. So it's really more like this... "I not frape guy, mom", and "I not frandwich guy, mom", and the best one, "I not frawbry dam guy, mom". Now you tell me, how can I make the child sit there and eat when I'm laughing so hard? Of course, he IS a "frawbry guy" if it's dipped in ranch. So, that's good!

Meatballs and Mash a la Maple Syrup
How this came to be is beyond me. My guess is I hadn't quite all-the-way cleaned up breakfast by the time I was serving dinner.... I dunno... good guess. Anyway, the syrup was on the table, signaling to Louie that it must be a condiment we are using for dinner. Mmmm...delish!

And to answer the question still nagging you... "NO"... I did not let them use syrup on the Captain Crunch. :o)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

If at First You Don't Succeed...

... wait a few days (until the blood stops squirting out of your eyes, and you can look at the drill without repeating all the swear words you invented) and try again. Make sure to review the helpful tips Contractor Dad was nice enough to send (after picking himself up off the floor from a major laugh attack). Repeat to yourself over and over... "I am NOT a complete moron, I am NOT a complete moron". Take a deep breath and go!

So I did it. Here is the result of my successful attempt at installing curtain rods. Four windows done including one rod raised three inches. Yay me!

The only casualty was the 3/16 drill bit (because I knocked the drill onto the floor). Ooops! Oh... and there's also the very small, but infuriating, gash the drill bit put into the hardwood floor before it broke into 3 pieces! (sorry babe! More stuff to fix. I'll get you another set of drill bits! You're on your own with the floor. I'm think'n an area rug would look GREAT there!)

There are NO new holes in the wall for Army Guy to fix! Just the original ones from last week. Shocking... I KNOW! And those holes are pretty much hidden by the curtains... so I'm think'n they will get patched when we sell the house in 3 years... or not! I'm still going to wait for Army Guy to paint because, though I am an excellent painter, I can just imagine how that might go with Huey, Dewey, and Louie running around. "Nightmare" is the word that comes to mind (just off the top of my head.)

Lessons Learned
* If you are drilling and you hit a stud... stop drilling, ditch the anchor and get a 1 1/2 inch screw. (props to Army Guy for having those on hand) (and to Contractor Dad for that handy tip.)

* When you measure and mark the wall, be sure the "marks" are lined up exactly and then drill EXACTLY on your marks. If you don't, the result is this.....

... Ya, that's a bracket leaning left. But it's OK because the one next to it leans right. So it all balances out in the end. (that's kinda "Zen" isn't it?) Whatever... I was not shooting for a general contractor's license. So in spite of the "do-it-yourselfer" flaws... I'm calling this a job well done. (or at least, "pretty ok-ish done", anyway).

A round of margaritas for everyone! I have faced the EVIL anchor and have conquered it's wickedness. I have prevailed! Hurrah!

You may now leave the congratulatory comments that I SO DESERVE! (Except for my brother... I deserve payback for the "crown moulding" zinger! Fire away bro!)
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