Tuesday, February 12, 2019

And Then Daddy Got in on the Action

RUT ROH.... somebody called his brother an "idiot" within earshot of his dad. Well that didn't go over so well.  The result?  Army Guy decided to try out a little creative parenting himself.

Here's how that went down.

Army Guy: You must look up the word "idiot" in the dictionary then write down the definition.

Daniel: I have to write EVERYTHING?  Like... Even the proper pronunciation and all the different meanings and synonyms?

Army Guy: Write down everything that you see under the heading of "idiot".  Then I want a verbal report of what you have learned.

Daniel: sigh....

Sometime later Daniel returned with his report and proceeded to read the following....

Idiot: Noun. [id-ee-uht] Informal. An utterly foolish or senseless person.
Synonyms: stupid, fool, twit, half-wit, tool, bonehead, blockhead, nincompoop, dunce, dolt, kook, ignoramus, cretin, imbecile, dullard, moron, simpleton, plod, 
"plod".... hahahaha....
dope, ninny, chimp, dimwit, nitwit,  goon, dumbo, dunce, dumbbell, loon, jackass, yo-yo, wing nut, tom fool, pinhead, dumb-head, noodle, dipstick, numskull...

At some point during this litany of tomfoolery, I completely lost it. It's just so hard to not laugh when your child is reading off a list of new ways in which he can insult his brothers. Clearly Army Guy didn't think this through.  

Me: Are we scolding the child or providing him with a new arsenal of insults?

Army Guy (not amused): So let's break this down.  Do you think Matthew is stupid?

Daniel: No Sir

Army Guy reviews Daniel's report and proceeds with his line of questioning, like an attorney at a deposition: Do you think he is a half-wit?

Daniel: No Sir

Army Guy (still keeping a straight face):  How about a blockhead, nincompoop, dunce or dolt?

Daniel: No Sir

Me: bahahahaha. Seriously... I've got no game

Army Guy: (This guy is SOLID with the game face) English is a precise language, use it precisely. 

Daniel: Yes Sir.

Me: (thinking) Okay, so we're done here? Sweet Moses, what has Army Guy done?

So far this has not come back to bite us on the backside...but I KNOW it will. Daniel is a sponge for knowledge and his new vocabulary WILL re-surface. Just.You.Wait.Army.Guy! And when it does...I'll be over here with the popcorn while I watch Army Guy attempt to undo the mayhem he has just unleashed onto the world.  

I'm pretty sure this is a parenting fail. :)

Copywrite 2018 - Loretta Monroe