Throw Down on the Four Square Court

We have a serious issue in this household. It seems that three out of three children in this family hold the prestigious title of "King of the Four Square Court" at school. Of course this is problematic. They can't all be king, especially since they have parents who were both the King/Queen of the Four Square Court in their day. (Incidentally, their mother was also "Queen of Tetherball". Yes, this is a lifelong title and yes, I do get to claim it at my age.) #greatnessisageless

There was only one way to settle the issue...purchase a red rubber ball and host a family Four Square Tournament. GAME ON!

It was a lively game full of surprises and "new rules". Army Guy and I were stunned at some of the rules and moves these younger whipper-snappers have created. I'm just gonna come out and say it... these little brats have bastardized the game. No...this is not an exaggeration. They have forever altered Four Square to resemble something more like Dodgeball on a tiny four square court. #kidsthesedays

Hey... here's an example of what I'm talk'n ‘bout here:

1) CHERRY BOMBING:  This is when an opponent grabs the ball and slams it into your square. No...this isn’t a "spike" like in volleyball. It’s more of a holding and slamming kind of move. "I'm sorry, but you can't HOLD THE BALL in Four Square", I proclaimed. Army Guy and I deemed this an illegal move.

2) TINY TIMMY: When an opponent holds the ball and runs over to your square and drops it just over the line from a height of about 6 inches. I rolled my eyes and promptly yelled "ILLEGAL MOVE!" #fortheloveofmuffins  

3) QUADRUPLE TAPS: When a player is allowed to touch the ball up to four times while it is in play in his square. This allows the player to juggle and maneuver the ball. He can also set up a spike, like in volleyball, only he sets and slams the ball himself. "ILLEGAL MOVE!" #areyoukiddingmewiththis?

This kind of made-up-crap went on and on and on. After about fifteen minutes of this nonsense, Army Guy called "Retro Rules". We took the game back to the 70's y'all... and we meant business. We schooled these youngins on the proper way to play and we set them straight. #priorities #raisingthemright

I am pleased to announce that Army Guy is still King of the Court…and I am Queen. Of course three boys would argue that it's because we played by "old dude rules". Whatever helps you sleep, son. #oldschoolrocks 

For those interested, The official Four Square Rules are listed here. Incidently, Cherry Bombing is generally frowned upon by all Wikipedia commenters. #thatsright #vindicatedbywiki