Sunday, January 18, 2009

Vomit-Fest 2009: Lessons Learned

Vomit-Fest 2009 began on Saturday, Jan 10 when Dewey spewed in his car seat as we were saying good-bye to Army Guy at the airport. It continued in full force the next day when we all woke up sick sick sick. We later learned that Army Guy was sick too as he was driving to Ft. Riley from Kansas City. Since this was my first time being "sick with children", I learned a few things I had never really thought of before. So, here it is, in no particular order, the lessons learned from Vomit-Fest 2009.

1. A vomit incident can be a welcomed diversion during a teary good-bye at the airport.

2. Fabreeze doesn't get ALL the barf smell out of a car seat.

3. You should make a diagram of how the car seat goes together before taking it apart to wash.

4. When your 2-year-old throws up in his bed, you should NEVER say, "go get into mommy's bed and we'll take care of this in the morning".

5. If you MUST say, "go get into mommy's bed" (because you are somehow brain dead, sleep deprived, or comatose from all the puking) it is wise to put a towel under your darling child.

6. When your precious baby boy vomits in your bed (because you are the dumb-ass that said "go get into mommy's bed" and didn't put a towel down) a king size bed is a whole lot harder to change at 3:30 am than a stupid toddler bed. See lesson #4 and avoid this rookie mistake.

7. An 18-month-old who is not sick, can find lots of fun things to do while the rest of the household is curled up in a ball on the sofa concentrating on not spewing.

8. It takes at least 4 days to discover all the ways your 18-month old found to entertain himself during vomit-fest.

9. When your sick toddler asks for chocolate milk, don't assume he must be feeling better.

10. If your toddler DOWNS a cup of chocolate milk, and immediately asks for more, don't assume it's OK because he's just "re hydrating" from all the barfing.

11. Chocolate milk vomit stains

12. If you smell vomit... there's vomit. It would be wise to turn on the light and discover the pool of puke your child is sleeping in, instead of assuming the smell is just "coming from the hamper".

13. When your child pukes in his toddler bed, chances are he spewed through the slats and got the wall too.

14. If there is dried barf running down the wall.. chances are there is a pool of dried barf on the carpet under the bed.

15. You should make every effort to keep all the drawers in your kitchen closed all the way. If a drawer is cracked even an inch... there is a slight possibility of a spewing accident in and throughout your entire Tupperwear drawer.

and finally....

16. After a long day of barfing and butt-squirts, if you feel a little better and decide to have a bite of your birthday cake... the next vomit will taste refreshingly sweet!

oh... ps... this blog entry is something I would add to the "gross" list. We can assume it would be entirely "not gross" to the boys.

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