"Mom, we want to make cookies!"
That's all it took...I WAS IN!
"YES!" I exclaimed, "You may use my entire kitchen
and everything I own if you will produce for me a warm and delicious cookie
while I sit here on my bottom watching the Olympics."
(translation: NOT watching
you!) It was a fantastic idea and I was IN with my entire being!
Why were there four tween chefs
and not three? Because the very charming and delightful neighbor boy was
visiting our home (sarcasm font NOT engaged...this child is very delightful).
Bonus: this child knows how to make cookies, he loves to make cookies, and
was very eager to share his skill with my boys. When I say this news was heaven
for me, I am not at all exaggerating! My thought process: you mean I can actually sit here...doing nothing...and my
children will produce yummy cookies for ME?
The picture in my head looked a little something like this...except in my head the cookies were all glow-y and I'm pretty sure there was angelic background music.
 |
| Photo by Wendy Rueter on Unsplash |
Who wouldn't love that?
So I set them up for success. I pulled out every
ingredient and tool this process would require, then I preheated the oven and
gave them a little direction. "Cream the butter, eggs, sugars, and vanilla
together and then add the dry ingredients. Oh...and also, those are half-sticks
of butter. The recipe calls for two so I have given you four". And with
that, I left them to their task with the knowledge that I had achieved success
as a mother. I had given them the skills and tools in which to please me with the
chocolatey-chippy-goodness of life. All I had to do was wait 20 minutes...
Insert giant "record
scratch" sound here
When I say something went
horrifically wrong, that would be the understatement of the universe. So many
things went so super wrong. I was left standing in a completely destroyed
kitchen, with a serious burn smell wafting through the air and an are-you-kidding-me-right-now? look on my face. But the burned product really wasn't
the worst of it. After some serious sleuth-like investigating I discovered the baseline issues.
It seems that the Tollhouse Chocolate Chip bag (on which the recipe
was printed) was torn at the corner. This destroyed some critical information
regarding the amount of flour to use. It seems that the "2" part of the
"2 1/4 cups flour" was missing. So our mixture had a scant 1/4 cup of
flour. But when I found nine butter wrappers on
the counter I realized just how much of a disaster this had become. NINE BUTTER WRAPPERS! So when I said "these are half cubes, you need to
double that" nobody heard the "Here are the four cubes you need". And
then I guess somebody either miscounted or threw in an extra cube for the butter-tsar...or
something.
So we had a mixture that
consisted of nine half-sticks of butter and a quarter cup of flour in addition to the
other ingredients. This created the most unfortunate sheet of greesy, burned
sugar-butter-tar the world will ever see. I am saddened to report that I failed
at getting a picture of the blackened butter mess…mostly because I was just in
shock.
So not only did this mama
not get her cookie fix, but I am now out of butter and my new cookie sheet is in the trash. Sigh… I'm a failure at momming!
Please send cookies. I’m not above begging. For real!
