Here's how that went down.
Army Guy: You must look up the word "idiot" in the dictionary then write down the definition.
Daniel: I have to write EVERYTHING? Like... Even the proper pronunciation and all the different meanings and synonyms?
Army Guy: Write down everything that you see under the heading of "idiot". Then I want a verbal report of what you have learned.
Daniel: sigh....
Sometime later Daniel returned with his report and proceeded to read the following....
Idiot: Noun. [id-ee-uht] Informal. An utterly foolish or senseless person.
Synonyms: stupid, fool, twit, half-wit, tool, bonehead, blockhead, nincompoop, dunce, dolt, kook, ignoramus, cretin, imbecile, dullard, moron, simpleton, plod,
"plod".... hahahaha....
dope, ninny, chimp, dimwit, nitwit, goon, dumbo, dunce, dumbbell, loon, jackass, yo-yo, wing nut, tom fool, pinhead, dumb-head, noodle, dipstick, numskull...
At some point during this litany of tomfoolery, I completely lost it. It's just so hard to not laugh when your child is reading off a list of new ways in which he can insult his brothers. Clearly Army Guy didn't think this through.
Me: Are we scolding the child or providing him with a new arsenal of insults?
Army Guy (not amused): So let's break this down. Do you think Matthew is stupid?
Daniel: No Sir
Army Guy reviews Daniel's report and proceeds with his line of questioning, like an attorney at a deposition: Do you think he is a half-wit?
Daniel: No Sir
Army Guy (still keeping a straight face): How about a blockhead, nincompoop, dunce or dolt?
Daniel: No Sir
Me: bahahahaha. Seriously... I've got no game
Army Guy: (This guy is SOLID with the game face) English is a precise language, use it precisely.
Daniel: Yes Sir.
Me: (thinking) Okay, so we're done here? Sweet Moses, what has Army Guy done?
So far this has not come back to bite us on the backside...but I KNOW it will. Daniel is a sponge for knowledge and his new vocabulary WILL re-surface. Just.You.Wait.Army.Guy! And when it does...I'll be over here with the popcorn while I watch Army Guy attempt to undo the mayhem he has just unleashed onto the world.
I'm pretty sure this is a parenting fail. :)
