Olympian Effort at the Magic Kingdom

 

It was an Olympian Effort.  Herculean even!  Last July we had ONE day to do all the things at the Wonderful World of Disney.  Of course, getting six people to agree on ONE Disney park was not in the cards. Because, here's the problem... Disney has brilliantly placed at least one must do attraction at each park.  I can't blame them for that... really can't.  What I can blame them for is charging $246 for a one-day park-hopper pass.  PER PERSON!  Really Disney? You cut me.  

Anyway, we had a plan: Visit the highlights of each park in ONE DAY. 

Here's how the day unfolded...

We began at Disney's Hollywood Studios because Galaxy's Edge was the top priority for the Ducklings (is it okay to still refer to a 6'6" fully grown man as a "duckling"?)  Things to ponder.   

Galaxy's Edge did NOT disappoint. We were sure to stop by Oga's Cafe for a snack. That was weird and cool and fun all wrapped up into one delicious Star Wars immersion experience. 

Our next stop was Epcot where we were sure to hit Soar'n and Test Track.  We then dined at Le Cellier, the steakhouse in Canada.  Holy Wow... amazing meal!

Onward to Animal Kingdom for "Flight of the Avatar", my hands-down-all-time-favorite-ride-at-any-amusement-park, ever!  Sadly, Matthew could not ride because they couldn't get his tall, tall body with those long, long legs secured into the seat-contraption. I had so much sad for Matthew. It gave me a flash-back of the major trauma Ikea caused when they decided he was TOO TALL to enter the children's play place.  HE WAS SIX!  I think Matthew still carries scars over that. Disney just doubled down on his childhood trauma. All for the price of $246.  Way to go Disney.  Epic Fail. Clearly being super tall is not all lollipops and roses. There are real world problems no one ever discusses. (Imnagine this paragraph with In the Arms of an Angel playing in the background). 

At this point it was 6:45 pm and Animal Kingdom was about to close for the day.  And this is the exact moment that Army Guy and I decided we were OUT.  Scratch that... WE didn't decide... OUR BODIES did.  There comes a time when age smacks you in the face with a massive dose of reality.  And let me tell you... doing three Disney parks in one day might have been a cake-walk for 43-year-old-me with three babies and a double stroller, but my 60-year-old self was NOT HAVING IT!  My feet said "NOPE" and Army guy's back was about to quit - FULL STOP!  So, we pulled the "I'm-old-and-tired" card and let the kids run wild.  

Here's the part that slays me.  While Army Guy and I shuffled off to the car singing Just Put One Foot in Front of the Other... Andrew and Cali decided they could run across the park to catch a ride on Expedition Everest once more before the park closed.  Yes, these kids had the energy to RUN, while Army Guy and I were barely functioning as actual human beings. Truth... we had to stop for refreshment on the way to the car.  What?  It was July in Florida. Hydration is paramount to life. Fact.  Meanwhile... across the park, Andrew and Cali rode the coaster TWICE before heading to the car.  And here's the kill shot - They reached the car a mere three minutes after Army Guy and I had arrived. Aging is a %$^*&. Am I right?

But there was one park left to visit, and the Magic Kingdom didn't close until midnight.  My brain said "YAY... I love the Magic Kingdom". I still held out hope.  But then reality smacked me in the face again.  Three steps out of the car and my feet urgently reiterated, "NOPE".  Swallowing my pride, I crawled back into the car with Army Guy, where we sat for five hours, with the A/C running and listening to 80's music, while our offspring enjoyed the Happiest Place on Earth.  And let me tell you something:  That air-conditioned Jeep Wagoneer, in the parking lot, with the music of my youth, and the love of my life... it was a pretty happy place.  If I couldn't run with the kids, at least I had my love, who was so, so, soooo happy my body had given up too. Because that man would have continued to drag his sorry behind through another park just to be with me.  That's love. And I'm blessed to still have that after all these years.  It might not be romantic to watch the fireworks from the parking lot. But we had a/c... and we had each other… and that was bliss for a couple of old folks. 

FIVE HOURS LATER... the kids came running back, high on sugar, adrenaline, and youth. Their happiness made my heart sing. 

And that is the tale of our epic four-parks-in-one-day Olympian Disney extravaganza. The kids took the gold for completing the quest. Army Guy and I settled for silver for our solid effort. My phone logged 17,000 steps that day.  Andrew's logged 37,000!  All-in-all it was a pretty great day. 

And also… HUGE apologies to my mother-in-law, who I dragged through the Disney gauntlet 20 years ago.  I get it now!  I do!  So, so sorry! :)