Sometimes You Just Gotta Shake Your Head and Giggle

This week we all went to Vacation Bible School at our church. It was a fantastic week! I got to lead a group of first-graders while the boys had lots of fun singing and learning Bible stories and making cute crafts! We all had a great time.

On the final day of VBS, the children participated in the traditional program for all the parents. All the kids (about 200) stood on stage and sang songs for the parents. It was really cute. Since Huey's class was the youngest, they ended up right in front. I sat there in the front row, holding Dewey, and watching Huey sing... and I was so proud....

And then... it all went terribly wrong!

Dewey distracted me for a second mid-way through the program. When I looked up again.... Huey was GONE! Vanished! I searched the stage and could not find him anywhere! How on Earth do you lose a child while he's standing less than 10 feet in front of you? After 30 seconds of frantically searching the group, I finally found him.... and then.... I was both horrified and amused by the events that unfolded before my eyes!

Huey had worked his way across the stage to where a live mic was stationed for the older kids with speaking parts. My darling son, now obsessed with the microphone, planted himself in front of the mic stand, tilted the mic down to his level... then stood on his very tippy tippy toes and strained his neck up as high as he could and then... began to sing directly into the mic.... LOUDLY! He then proceeded to make faces and act like... well... like a 5-year-old who is experiencing a microphone for the first time ever. At some point the sound guy got a clue and turned off the mic. All the teachers just ignored him... while I slithered under the pew and hid. Yeah... I was proud!

At some point, I crawled out from under the pew and caught Huey's eye and gave him that (Get-your-butt-away-from-that-mic, young-man) non-verbal glare that he immediately understood! Huey promptly worked his way back to his spot and began singing like the sweet child I know and love.... who likes to pick and eat his boogers....... sigh....

As soon as the janitor leaves I'll finally crawl out from under the pew and make my way home.... any time now....

Combat in Arms 101

Lesson #1:
Never Mess With Superior Fire Power




Lesson #2:
If You're Holding A Weapon... You're In The Fight


Lesson #3:
It's Unwise To Pause For Refreshment During The Battle


Lesson #4
Know When Hand-to-Hand Combat Has Failed. Call For Long Range Missiles!


Lesson #5
Refer to Lesson #1.... And Take Cover!

Serving Fruit Kabobs is NOT Genius...

Super sweet four-year-old on his birthday

Dewey has never had a birthday party. So I figured... "It's time!" (It's time to just suck it up and endure the nightmare of a 4-year-old birthday party to show my son he is important.) "I can do this".... I think to myself. "How hard can it be?"

So, in order to make things easier on myself, I decided that a bouncy house would be the best way to keep the Darling Children entertained! Every kid loves a bouncy house... right? So I hit the Internet hard in search of bouncy rentals. What I found out was unbelievable! It costs roughly $250.00 to rent a bouncer for 4 hours!!! Say Whaaaaa?!?!?! So then I hit the Internet harder in search of a more reasonable solution. Because... lets face it... there was GOING TO BE a bouncy house at Dewey's party. I was not about to let 13 small children into my home with nothing to do! I'm not THAT crazy! So after days and days of investigating, I found some great bouncers for SALE on eBay! Whoa.... you mean I can spend twice as much to OWN ONE FOREVER? That's waaaayyy better than renting one for 4 hours! SCORE! (Additional bonus: This will provide me some SANITY during the loonnngggg summer break! Woo Hoo!!!!)

So we settled on this adorable Lion Bouncer.


I say "we" settled on this one but in reality the ducklings wanted a train one. But that one was too small and I very convincingly argued that it would be shipped from Washington State and would not make it in time for the party. So we "unanimously" chose the lion. It's about 16'x15' and has a SLIDE... so, of course, The Ducklings love it!

Dewey's birthday party was a huge success. The kids had a great time and I even survived to tell the tale.

Wait.. wasn't this supposed to be about Kabobs? Oh yeah... so here's a handy little tip regarding my genius idea to serve fruit kabobs to 4-year-olds.... DON'T DO IT!!! LOL! Actually, the kabobs were wildly popular among the kids. They all ate their fruit... so that was good. But the secondary reason for the kabob's popularity involved the repeated use of the phrase "You'll put your eye out with that thing!!!" Seems 4-year-olds really like to sword fight with kabob sticks! WHO KNEW?

Here's a few more photos of the birthday boy! Oh and.... I have a bouncy house available for rent.... Cheap! LOL

Dewey modeling the baseball jersey, glove and ball he
received from Grandma!

A big boy with a BIG BOY bike!!!

Mario and Alvin... two of Dewey's favorite things!
Thank you Auntie Kelli (with the black hair)

How do you do a "Mario Cake" when bakeries
don't offer one? Simple... you order a cloud and star
cake, and then add some sprinkles and Mario
Figurines you bought on eBay! (I love eBay!)

The birthday boy at his party!

How My Summer Diet Began

The other day I over-heard the following conversation between Huey and Dewey.

Dewey: "That's a LOT of chocolate! Do you think we can eat that much chocolate? I just don't know!"

Huey: "Well... if we eat THAT MUCH chocolate we'll be fat like Daddy and Mommy"

DOAH!!! Smacked down by a 5-year old!

In his defense, I have to disclose that "you'll get fat like mommy" is my general excuse for not letting them have (a) another piece of cake, (b) all the candy in their Easter Basket, or (c) any of my secret cookie stash! So...its not like Huey was trying to say "Hey Mom.. YOU HUGE"! He was really repeating to his brother what he knew I would say. It was a smack-down using my own words! DRAT!!!

So...um... Army Guy and I will be eating salad for the rest of the year! Awesome! And... sadly, my secret cookie stash is gone! I know... the HORROR of it all!

Let's Talk About Chuckie.... Shall We?

"Public service announcement to all parents of small children.... birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese's are NOT fun! Please... for the love of Pete... just say 'NO' to Chuckie! Thank you! :o)"

That was my status update on Facebook this morning. So far the comments to that post are 100% in agreement! So here's a good question... If all parents HATE taking their kids to Chuck E. Cheese's, why on earth do they continue to punish fellow parents by hosting their precious child's birthday party there? It's twisted and just plain wrong!

If there are any parents out there who have yet to experience this cruel form of torture... otherwise known as "Chuck E. Hell"... let me set the scene for you.

Chuck E. Cheese's is the most obnoxious place ever created. I am at a loss to come up with anything even slightly as annoying. First of all, the pizza is NASTY. Most kids don't even like it. But the dumb games are even worse than the food. It's like one loud, blinking, kid-sized casino for pre-school children. It's the Vegas strip for school-aged kids, where lots of blinking lights beckon them to tempt their luck at some stupid game or another. If they are lucky they win... *gasp* TICKETS!!!! The more tickets the better. Even if you are a big huge loser, you get one or two tickets. Awesome, right? Every child is a winner. What could be wrong with that? Well.. for starters, tokens are not cheap. They are pretty much equivalent to .25 cents. (give or take a few pennies).

So what does a quarter buy? Well... it depends on which stupid game you select. It was our experience that roughly 8 of Huey's 20 tokens were WASTED on games that did not work, but did not have an "out of order" sign. Poor guy has become really good a dealing with disappointment. So, for the sake of a good life-lesson, I can let that go. Among the WORKING games are stupid things like games that give you ONE TRY to stop a blinking light on a certain spot. All for a quarter. Of course, it's next to impossible ... but your child will get one ticket for trying... so that's good! After 1 hour of roaming from stupid game to stupid game, Huey earned a total of 27 tickets! WooHoo... 27 tickets! What did that buy him? A Tootsie Roll and a lollipop! I'm NOT making this up. Twenty tokens (or roughly $5.00) bought him 3 cents worth of candy. (oh yeah... and access 28 zillion germs. BONUS!)

Of course, Huey had the VERY BEST TIME OF HIS LIFE! (nice) and now wants to have his birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese's. So I will spend the next 8 months hearing "I WANT MY BIRTHDAY PARTY AT CHUCK E. CHEESES!". It's a good thing those stupid non-working games of Chuckie's taught Huey how to deal with life's disappointments, because I vow this day to NEVER host a birthday party there. How ironic is that? Chuckie has taught my son how to deal with the disappointment of never being allowed to go there again! hahahaha! Genius!

How to Make Your Mama Cry, 101

or... "Huey's First Preschool Program"

Okay... so nobody told me that seeing my first-born in his first preschool program would turn me into a sobbing fool. Seriously... I was NOT prepared for that! As soon as we sat down, I started to cry at the mere thought of my baby singing. So I guess this is how the next 20 years will go.

Me: "Look at my baby up there...wah wah wah!"
Army Guy: Laughing at me and taking pictures of my sobbing-ness.


Huey's program was adorable. His class sang 5 songs and did the chicken dance.... which was awesome. That made me laugh and cry at the same time.



Here is Huey after the program with his teacher, Mrs. Tammy. He adores her and has learned so much this year in preschool. Mrs. Tammy has done an excellent job at getting him ready for kindergarten next year.

Home From Iraq

On December 23, 2009, after 530 days, Army Guy finally returned from Iraq. For Good! Forever and ever.... Amen! (until the next time.) The boys and I met him at the airport at 8:45 pm. We got there just in time to see him walking toward us. The boys made "welcome home" signs, but those barely made it out before the boys just dropped them on the floor and ran to daddy! I was too busy being all teary-eyed to get some good pictures of that.



No... that splat of red on the bottom left of the "welcome home daddy" sign is not blood and guts. Nor is it daddy's airplane exploding in a fire ball (I know... I know... Uncle Danny needs to come give these boys some art classes!) The red splat is actually Dewey's attempt at tracing his hand and then coloring it red. Still... looks a little scary! :o)

All the Queen's Men.... December 2009

Then and Now

Today is THE DAY Army Guy returns from the LONGEST DEPLOYMENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE EARTH!!! (or maybe... it just seemed that way.) We will pick him up at 8:45 pm and I'll post photos of his return in a few days. But today I thought it would be fun to take a look back at how the Ducklings have changed in 1 1/2 years.

This photo was taken a couple months before Army Guy left for training. Ducklings were 3, 2 and 9 months. I was scared to death about the mere idea of being both mom and dad to these guys for 18 months. It was overwhelming.

This photo was taken last January just about the time Army Guy was finally arriving in Iraq. Huey was 4, Louie 1.5, and Dewey 2.5.


And here are the Ducklings today. Louie is 2.5, Dewey is 3.5, and Huey just turned 5 last week. We made it. The four of us have been through some ups and downs... but we survived and we actually did quite well. These boys are just precious. And even when they flush their jammies down the toilet and then flood the bathroom by flushing over and over.... and over.... (sigh) I STILL enjoy the privilege of being their mama. (but I'm really glad daddy will be here VERY VERY SOON!

Merry Christmas from our family to yours. We are truly blessed to be reunited again at Christmas time and we are thankful for each and every one of you who have supported our family while Army Guy was away!

One-Liners, Courtesy of The Ducklings!

This entry might be a little bit of a cop-out... but whatever! I'm running out of good stories without repeating the same thing over and over again. You know... the "Louie-poured-flour all-over-the-floor-and-used-it-to-slip-n-slide-down-the-hallway", kind of thing. That stuff happens around here... it's not always THAT entertaining.

Anyway.... over the years the Ducklings have come up with some one-liners that have just slayed me. So here goes. In no particular order.... quotes from the Ducklings.

Me to Army Guy: "Scoot over and make room for my giant butt".

Huey (from the other room): "THAT'S MY MAMA!!!"

*********

Huey (from the back of the minivan):"Mommy, can you move your big face so I can see the TomTom"?

*********

Huey to Mom and Dad (from the back of the minivan): "NO TALKING!"

Mom and Dad: "Okay" (continue talking)

short pause.....................

Huey (spoken like a tired irritated mom):

"I hear talking!" "I think I said NO TALKING!"

*********

Dewey: "Yo Ho, Yo Ho a Piwates Wife for me!"

*********

Dewey (singing to the tune of "Where is Thumpkin"):

"Where is Daddy? Where is Daddy?

I don't' know. I don't know.

Wore mus born wore finner. Wore mus born wore finner.

Amen. Amen. (Translated: "You must burn your finger")
(I don't know... I'm just reporting!)

*********

Huey (to his teacher when put in the time-out chair):

"My mommy does NOT want to hear from you!"

*********

Huey (to mommy when trying to stay up after bed time).

"But mommy, you're awesome and I just want to hang out with you!"

(ah... sweet! He got to stay up. I know... I'm a sucker!)

*********

Huey - the next night: (Spoken with wrong body language and tone. Rolling eyes and just saying the words.)
"But you're awesome and I just wanna hang out with you!"
(Ah ha ha ha! Not this time little mister! Nice try!)

*********

Dewey: "Doe Di Aye Doe Doe"
(It took me 20 minutes to translate that to "Go Diego Go") LOL

*********

Dewey: "I'm a boy but I DON'T WIKE football... and I DON'T WIKE fredress!!!" (Asparagus)

                                                     *********

Huey (back when he was 3) "Mommy!  Shoke taker honking wake up me! Shoke taker, Mama... Shoke Taker!!!"  Three days later it finally occurred to me he was saying "the smoke detector will honk and wake me up".  lol  I need a degree in 3-year-old linguistics.

Trick or Treat!

I REALLY wanted to dress the boys as Huey, Dewey, and Louie for Halloween!!! How perfect would THAT have been? I could just see it.... My darling boys decked out in little white duck costumes... the mere thought makes me laugh. But NOOOOOOO! These boys would have none of that! (Kill-joys). Instead they insisted on Mario, Luigi and Pooh Bear. Now you might notice a few flaws with this picture. First, the obvious... "but wait... that's not Pooh Bear.. that's BLUE!" Ya... I know. Baby decided to go with last year's "Blue" at the last second. And I mean... the VERY LAST second. Army Guy was actually dressing him when this revelation came. But Army Guy was fast on his toes. He remained flexible and conquered the challenge like a true stay-at-home mom. Ya... he ditched the Pooh Bear Outfit and dug "Blue" out of the closet. $19.95 wasted! Whatever! You gotta do what you gotta do! Hahaha

The second problem with the photo is height. Do you think there is any possible way on EARTH that I could get the short one to be Mario and the tall one to be Luigi??? Not on your life!!! Huey was dead set on Mario. And Dewey was going to be Luigi! End. Of. Story! Hahaha!

So... with our costume challenges overlooked, we sent them off to gather chocolate for their mama (uh... I mean... um... for them). This is the first time Army Guy was around for Halloween and he took them trick-or-treating. They all had a blast! When they returned I thought it was curious that "Baby" had the biggest stash. Army Guy laughed and said "Baby worked the crowd". Apparently, he blew kisses to everyone and had them eating out of his hand. Hmmmm... future politician in my home? Haha!

We had a fun night and it was so great to have Army Guy home to share it with the boys. (we can thank my former gallbladder for that... may it rest in peace!)