Thursday, December 23, 2010

Uh oh... Someone is on Santa's Naughty List

Dewey(4), Louie (3) on a rare
"non-fighting" occasion

How, exactly, does a child go from being "the sweet one" all year long and then BAM, end up on Santa's naughty list just a few days before Christmas? Oh..... This is a good one! Sit back and enjoy the latest Duckling Tale.

So, yesterday Dewey and Louie were sitting in the toy room playing Super Nintendo. Those of you, who know Dewey well, know that he is a very pleasant child. He is sweet and snugly and helpful... he is just a delight. However, nobody can push his buttons like Louie. Louie is very, VERY good at being three. He has his sweet moments as well, but mostly he's just.... THREE!!!

The two were playing quietly for a while and then the inevitable fight broke out. I'm not really certain what happened. There was a struggle, some yelling and pushing.... you know the standard sibling stuff. And THEN..... Louie came to me crying. It took me a second to decipher his message through the tears (and the 3-year-old speech impediment). His appearance gave me a small clue. Louie's clothes were all wet. "Hmmmm", I thought, "they were not playing outside.... nobody had a drink in the toy room... what the...?" And then I understood Louie's message. "Mommy", he said as he was sobbing, "Dewey went pee pee on me!" WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

At first I thought, "maybe they were wrestling and Dewey had an accident.... or maybe....." Then Dewey came out, he was completely dry and saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Mommy, I'm sorry". Hmmm... Another clue....

So, from my excellent detective skills, here is how I have concluded the incident went down. Dewey finally got fed up with whatever Louie was doing to him. Apparently there is a breaking point... even for "the sweet one", and Dewey had reached it. And how did he choose to communicate his frustration? Well... he pulled 'em down, whipped it out and went pee all over his brother. Yes, right there IN the toy room.

I was shocked... and outraged... OUTRAGED! (And also slightly amused.) It took all I could muster to keep a straight face while I marched the child straight up to his Dad and made him explain what he did. So... here's how THAT went:

Dewey: (sobbing) "Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry"
Daddy: (big booming voice) "What did you do?"
Dewey: "I.... sniffle, sob.... I'm sorry"
Me: "Tell Daddy what you did to YOUR BROTHER"
Daddy: "Dewey? You better tell me right now mister... and don't even think about lying to me."
Dewey: "Sorry, sorry, sob sob, sorry"
Me: "Daddy, he went PEE PEE on his brother!!!"
Daddy: "WHAT?!?!?!?!?!"
Dewey: (sobbing.... pleading) "sorry"
Me: (Trying hard to keep a straight face, because, though I am still OUTRAGED... I'm finding this whole scene hilarious.)
Daddy: "I think that just got your name on Santa's naughty list."
Dewey: "Nooooooo... Whaaaaaaaaaa Sorry sorry sorry"
Me: (trying super hard not to look at Army Guy, because if his face breaks, I will LOSE IT.. and then it's all over.)
Daddy: "Do you want me to pee on YOU?!!"
Me: (OMG... I'm going to burst any second....)
Dewey: "Nooo!"
Daddy: "We can't just walk around peeing on people... the police will take you to jail for that sort of thing."
Me: (repeating to myself "dead puppies, dead puppies, don't break, keep it together)

This little scene went on for about 10 minutes. I am proud to say that my high school acting class came in quite handy. I did not allow my face to break and Dewey received the appropriate lecture/crap-scared-outta-him. And though I am still mortified and appalled... I simply cannot tell the story without laughing. Ah... never a dull moment around here... NEVER! :o)

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