Monday, September 23, 2019

Cultural Appropriation...Or Something

"Lori's House of Crazy". That's the name of this blog for a really good reason. MY HOUSEHOLD IS CRAZY! Today's offering of insanity is courtesy of thirteen-year-old Daniel, who has been perfecting his "British accent" since we stayed at the fancy hotel in Washington DC in July. Why a fancy hotel brings about a Brit accent is beyond me. It just does, okay?  Also, please note how I define "British accent" in this instance:  "an epic failure at proper English, but a massive WIN in the comedy department none-the-less."

This weekend Army Guy left for a business trip and Daniel "bid him farewell" in proper 18th century English fashion. "Goodbye Father. Do travel safely whilst I sleep." Army Guy was seriously amused. But y' Daniel absolutely slayed me when he decided to speak with the accent of a British person who is attempting an American accent. Cringe-worthy and comic gold!

I finally decided that if the child was going to continue this dialect, he needed a little training. I thought maybe he would enjoy the opportunity to immerse himself in the fascinating world of Brit-speak to perfect the Queen's proper English. That's right, I conned him into suggested he should accompany me to see Downton Abbey "for research". Since he had absolutely zero clue what he was getting into, he thought it would be great to just hang out with "mum" and eat popcorn. How could that be anything but delightful? Daniel was IN! 

Half way through the movie I looked over at Daniel and he was legit staring at the ceiling. When I asked what he was doing he replied, "trying to see if my head will fit between these two seats". So.... I'm guessing he was bored or something? Listen, I knew this was not a movie Daniel would enjoy. It was a little evil of me to suggest he accompany me. But in my defense, he HAS been annoying his brothers with his really bad British accent for two months now. So he totally deserved a couple hours of torture. When I asked if he was able to pick up some of the dialect he responded with, "No, they were just too British!" Did you hear that loyal subjects of the queen? Daniel thinks your speech is just way too British. I'm not even sure what that means, but I do believe this movie has cured him of his really-bad-accent-obsession. So I'm calling that a win.

As we walked to the car I thanked Daniel for being such a great date. Daniel didn't hesitate for even a nanosecond with his reply. "I died a little on the inside".
Great, his man-training is now complete! Win number two for the mama!

Just for fun, here is Daniel with me at the grocery store last week. He's driving on the left. "Because I'm British, Mum!"

This child... 😂😂😂

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